| Friday, August 14, 2009 |
| It's not about the food, it's about the time spent. |
I'm in Pampanga right now. I just arrived like an hour ago or so. In about 6-7 hours, I'll be leaving for Manila again. So why else did I go home right?
I went home because I miss my dad. Well, if you're my friend, you would know that my dad works in Cebu and he goes home every 2 weeks. And as for me, I go home on Thursdays and Fridays which I do not follow lately because of too much work to do. So I haven't seen my dad for more than a month now. I miss him terribly. I feel like I'm being distant from him. I'm his baby girl and I'm a self-confessed daddy's girl. I do not like the feeling of being distant from my dad.
So, even though I am so tired, and even though it's already late, I went home today so that at least, we can have dinner together, with the whole family of course. That's what I was expecting. I miss all of them.I haven't been with them for so long now because although I go home every week, I'm still preoccupied. I was hoping we can all sit together and just talk. You know, that simple meal where all of us are there and conversing, updating and all. I miss that. I miss how we can all laugh together. I miss them.
I feel sad because it didn't happen. Yes, I am home. All of us are home. But I was late for dinner. I had to eat dinner alone. And I hate being alone. People know that. I hate it when I feel that nobody is with me. I am not angry at them because I understand that they are as tired as I am. But well, I expected. I just wish we had time to sit all together and just talk. I hate eating alone. I hate that feeling. I could not even taste what I eat. I just swallow. I feel so sad. Really sad.
My life is too busy. While eating, I just kept telling myself that this is what I chose, and this is what I want. It made me go on, but it didn't make me feel better. Life is not good without any companion. And I truly believe in that. I always need someone to be with. I want someone to have by my side. And lately, I've been missing too many people. My dad, my mom, my sibs, the whole family, my best friend. Yes, and speaking of my best friend, we have this Thurday lunch date plan on the start of the sem which we still haven't started until now. I do not have time. And I am really sorry for that. See, it's a meal too that we planned. I miss her. I haven't talked to her like TALK to her for a while. I miss having someone with me in times like this. Yes, I know you know what I mean. Demmet.
It's not about eating the food, it's not about sitting there and finishing all at the same time. It's about spending time together. That's why I always find it special when I eat with someone. It's like giving him/her a time that we can spend together.
I feel bad.
I just wish I did not eat alone at home tonight.
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posted by Carmela @ 7:02:00 PM  |
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| "-'At any given moment in our lives, there are certain things that could've happened but did not'- By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept, Paulo Coelho |
| About Me |
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Name: Carmela
Home: Angeles City, Regio iii, Philippines
About Me: i'm someone worth knowing. i love to express my thoughts so here i am. i'm only sixteen and i'll be a college freshie soon @ UST, going to take up AB-Communication Arts.
"i'm shallow enough to appreciate bits of life's pleasures"
See my complete profile
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